Is Post Malone’s “Reputation” About Us (His Fans) & Suicidality? I Think So

Let me start off by saying, I'm kind of a new comer to being a Post Malone fan.

Definitely late to the game, I discovered him when his last album, "Hollywood's Bleeding," dropped and became obsessed with his lyricism.

I mean yes, his music is crazy catchy and sounds incredible - but that's never what really hits me. The lyrics are where it's at for me, always, and damn did the lyrics he was pumping out hit hard.

I may go back and flesh out my opinions on the lyrics to the songs on that entire album one day, because I love it so much and can't imagine it will ever completely leave my rotation of music I'm listening to.

But for now, I want to concentrate on the songs on his new album, Twelve Carat Toothache (which I'd like to point out in itself is worthy of dissection because wow - 3 words is all it took to communicate so much) as I'm discovering bits and pieces for the first time playing and replaying this album from start to finish.

When I first listened to Reputation, I thought he was talking about a girlfriend. Especially with that first lyric, I knew I'd be getting something incredibly poetic and into some crazy self-insight territory.

I didn't realize the song was actually about - his fans - until I took a moment to read through the lyrics and that line, "You're the superstar, entertain us (Entertain us)" struck me as being not just any other line, but the thesis of his poetic masterpiece.

So here I am breaking down this song under the assumption that that line is the thesis, and this song is all about us, his fans, and his relationship with us - not some girl in his life.

Let's start off by showcasing the lyrics, as I always prefer when people have a quick read through first before I begin...

"Reputation" by Post Malone Song Lyrics

[Chorus]
Take my own life just to save yours
Drink it all down just to throw it up
Take my own life just to save yours (Just to save yours)
Take my own life just to save yours
I got a reputation that I can't deny
You're the superstar, entertain us (Entertain us)

[Bridge]
Entertain us, but please, don't wake me up
I betrayed us, but us don't give a fuck
Kill myself today, kill it all away
Broken path I made
Please, just stay away

[Verse 1]
I know I fucked up before, but I won't do it again
And I got a lot of things that I wish I would've said
And I'm the same damn fool, and I'm wearin' that hat again
I know I fucked up and I can't make it right

[Verse 2]
Watch yourself, I can't slow down
This is who I am, can't be anyonе else, so
Don't let mе go, save yourself
Just save yourself, just save yourself
I was born to raise hell, I was born to take pills
I was born to chase mills, I was born to cave in
I was born to fuck hoes, I was born to fuck up
I was born, what a shame

[Chorus]
Take my own life just to save yours
Drink it all down just to throw it up
Take my own life just to save yours (Just to save yours)
Take my own life just to save yours
I got a reputation that I can't deny
You're the superstar, entertain us (Entertain us)

[Outro]
Cut my thumb up
Count my check, count my check
Let me choke on my cigarettes, cigarettes
Cut my thumb up
Count my check, count my check
Let me choke on my cigarettes and heavy debt

My Interpretation of the Meaning Behind Post Malone's "Reputation"

Quickly before I begin, I want to point out that when Post Malone performed this song on the Howard Stern show, he was asked in advance what this song was about, and stated:

This is about the dark times in my life. As soon as I heard the piano by Lou, I was absolutely stunned, and I figured why not just fucking sing my heart out and how I felt? And I think it's a very pretty song.

For the record, if you want to see a heart-wrenching performance of this song, you should absolutely watch the video. It's incredible.

Now let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start (😉), always because realistically, I feel like where a song starts is incredibly intentional. Like the setting of a story.

Here, we start with lyrics that sound like they were said by someone with something of a saviour complex; something by someone who feels they're a bit of a martyr:

Take my own life just to save yours
Drink it all down just to throw it up
Take my own life just to save yours (Just to save yours)
Take my own life just to save yours

The image that immediately comes to mind is that of Billie Eilish chugging down that toxic black liquid and oozing it out of her eyes in the music video for when the party's over.

Not a particularly pleasant image - Posty's essentially saying he's taking the hits, drinking up the toxicity, to save someone else from having it themselves, though who that is has yet to be discussed (again, I think it's us, the fans).

"Drink it all down just to throw it up" could be a reference to binge drinking, but it definitely seems to mean more than that - like binge drinking and the vomiting that then follows is a metaphor that's supposed to be tied with saving a life.

Him appearing to self-sabotage and destroy parts of himself is actually somehow saving another (or others, as I think is the case).

We get to the line that has the title of the song in it:

I got a reputation that I can't deny
You're the superstar, entertain us (Entertain us)

He's got a huge reputation, so you can pick and choose from this greater reputation what you think he means by this line. For some, connotations of him being a big, cocky musician is enough - for others, the drugs and fast pace of living will come to mind first.

I guess it doesn't really matter what comes to mind since it's all tied together, all in one big balled up mess that is his reptuation, and that's kind of the point. So let's get to the next line, which better be important because he just essentially pinged us a "Hey pay attention here" by throwing the title word into the line before:

You're the superstar, entertain us (Entertain us)

Dance monkey, dance, right?

That's surely what this song is about, and in case you weren't certain that you needed to pay close attention to this relationship he has with us - his audience - his fans and the public and everyone else who's watching, he repeats the two words "entertain us" three times (including the echo and the next line) to make sure you're listening:

Entertain us, but please, don't wake me up

So here's the tricky part - that line after the entertain us bit. "but please, don't wake me up." The tricky bit is - who's saying this? Is it him? Is it the audience/his fans? Or is the line blurred and does no one want to be woken up?

It could be any of these - with the implication being "don't wake me up" is about wanting to avoid being in reality, avoid knowing what's out there potentially as well - avoid being present, just be in the music, the magic of the smoke and mirrors that is show business, avoid life.

Honestly this line 100% gives me Internet vibes. A song that's much more direct from his last album Hollywood's Bleeding where he talks about how he literally doesn't go on the internet because - well it's toxic and who wants to expose themselves to the kind of shit he would if he were to go on it.

The chorus, which also addresses not wanting to be woken up, says it flawlessly:

Insta love
Well, if ignorance is bliss, then don't wake me up
And I'll prolly be the last to know (whoa)
'Cause I don't get on the internet no more

Head in the sand keep you happy? Ignorance is bliss? Then that's what he wants, likely because he is so unhappy that this is the only way he can see out - ignoring reality and what's happening in the world around him, what's happening on the internet, to find some semblance of peace of mind, because it's all just too much.

But back to Reputation because if you think things were dark, Posty's just warming the water before he throws you into the deep end, he says it how he sees it - and here's where I think he shows his cards, just how much he's suffering, in the next heart-wrenching lines (for anyone who gives a shit about his well-being):

I betrayed us, but us don't give a fuck
Kill myself today, kill it all away
Broken path I made
Please, just stay away

Okay so that first lyric:

I betrayed us, but us don't give a fuck

He's talking about a plural here, which is another indication that I think this song is all about his fans, about his audience, the people who listen to his music. He's making that clearer here in his opinion. It's not about one person.

He betrayed us could mean that a couple unit - but when he says "but us don't give a fuck" at that point you can't be talking about yourself and your boo, it doesn't make much sense that way. I think he's talking about betraying his fanbase, his people.

Somehow he betrayed them, and even though he did, they don't care.

But what kind of betrayal are we talking about?

He's not leaving you hanging for the answer. It's in the next three lines:

Kill myself today, kill it all away
Broken path I made
Please, just stay away

I don't think he's being anything but literal here personally, guys. I think he probably had a suicide attempt or a near suicide attempt and he's telling us poetically what he's been struggling with: suicidality and terrible psychological lows.

He wanted to die, he betrayed those who looked to him to save them, as he was saying at the start of the chorus, which he put at the start of the song as though it was a first verse.

He was supposed to be the martyr, taking away the pain basically taking it on for his fans so they wouldn't have to feel their own pain, but he betrayed them by attempting to take his own life, again as he repeats in the chorus.

When might this low period have happened? Maybe around the same time he tweeted this out:

If y'all are actually my fans and friends and love me and want me to be mentally stable, can y'all please let me live? I'm trying my best here. That's all I can do.

Maybe not. Either way, this two way street with his fans having maybe even a bigger influence on him than he has on them rings, in my opinion, throughout this song.

I don't know why he tweeted that, don't know what happened around the time he did, why he felt like he wanted his people to give him some space essentially, what they were doing and how it influenced him to be even more stressed out about his life, but it's not really that important to know, because we all already understand how suffocating it must feel to be in the kind of position he is as a celebrity.

So we'll get into the verses & the outro, though I don't think those are as poignant as the parts we've discussed so far:

I know I fucked up before, but I won't do it again
And I got a lot of things that I wish I would've said
And I'm the same damn fool, and I'm wearin' that hat again
I know I fucked up and I can't make it right

He's acknowledging past mistakes (which I am unsure of), and stating he won't repeat them. Also acknowledging not speaking up about things he wish he did.

He's calling himself a fool, which he's often doing in one way or another, saying he's wearing that hat - the dunce cap I'm guessing, or the clown's hat - again, understanding that he makes mistakes and that he screwed things up, but assuring the listener he understands, too, that he can't make things right with how badly he screwed up.

These next lines seem to be almost exclusively about drugs and living a fast-paced life that seems to be catching up with him, with almost a warning of "watch yourself" before he gets into the nitty gritty:

Watch yourself, I can't slow down
This is who I am, can't be anyonе else, so
Don't let mе go, save yourself
Just save yourself, just save yourself
I was born to raise hell, I was born to take pills
I was born to chase mills, I was born to cave in
I was born to fuck hoes, I was born to fuck up
I was born, what a shame

These lines sound like a spiral to me. Having dealt with depression and anxiety, this is the kind of shit that floats around in your head and plays on repeat forever.

"This is who I am" and "save yourself" with a heavy dose of "these are my demons, I know them, I am them, can't separate myself from them, can't get away from who I am."

Post Malone has spoken about saving before. Two lines in Goodbye come straight to mind:

There's no way I could save you
'Cause I need to be saved, too

To me, these lines definitely ring of a massive desire to escape the present mindframe, depression, sadness, toxicity, whatever the case may be.

When he talks about wanting saving, or begs people like he does here to save themselves, it makes you feel he thinks he's stuck where he is, and can't escape the hell he's in although he wants to.

Last part of the song, the outro. It's about the elephant that's always sitting in the room, that he always has to throw in because he can't resist talking about it; money:

Cut my thumb up
Count my check, count my check
Let me choke on my cigarettes, cigarettes
Cut my thumb up
Count my check, count my check
Let me choke on my cigarettes and heavy debt

"Cut my thumb up" I assume is a reference to counting stacks of cash and getting a paper cut from being so damn rich.

"Count my check" repeated sort of reiterates the fact that we're talking about money here.

"Let me choke on my cigarettes, cigarettes" is almost a way of insinuating he's choking on his lifestyle, that the money is killing him, the lifestyle he's living is killing him.

Slowly, you would think, because it's a cigarette so it insinuates lung cancer, but no - he's choking on them and that's a fast way to die. So the death he's alluding to through the cigarettes in his mouth is more of a quick death than you'd think.

"Let me choke on my cigarettes and heavy debt" - the last line. To remind you that not everything is as it appears.

Because while he seems loaded, and he makes a lot of cash, he's in heavy debt. He literally spends more than he brings in.

So he paints the more realistic image of himself as struggling - not because he can't  bring in the dough, but because he's gotten himself into more debt than he can even bring in - which as you know (not just because he points it out all the time, haha) is a lot.

He's drowning, he's suffering, and he can't get out, in so many ways.

And it's all connected to the superstardom, to the lifestyle that's pretty much a massive part of his appeal to begin with, that he feels he can't escape anyway because it's who he is and he was born this way, he wants escape and to be saved, but he can't, so the cycle continues.

You can envy Post Malone all you want - but he has his demons, too, and he's clearly trying to show us them in a way that's not super direct.

But this song is a perfect example of why I love Posty. His lyricism is unreal, but he's also ridiculously honest - in ways we probably wouldn't expect him to be. Not in obvious ways, the meanings are hidden, but they're there if you want to find them.

All I can say is, I hope he can save himself. Even if it means taking a break, just so he can stop drinking it down just to throw it up.